What to expect in therapy… And why it's okay to feel nervous

Starting therapy can feel…. Well pretty terrifying!

Even thinking about it can bring up nerves and endless questions.

What will I say? Will it be awkward? What if I cry?

Almost everyone feels some version of this before their first session. Therapy isn’t like any other space you’ve experienced in life… you’re sitting with someone you don’t yet know, wondering if you're expected to share all the thoughts and feelings you might have kept buried for years in your first session (you don't).

So if the thought of it feels strange or makes you feel vulnerable. Don't think it's a sign you’re not ready, it could be because you are looking to step out of your comfort zone and that's something to be proud of.

Therapy isn’t about “fixing” you

One of the biggest fears people carry is that therapy will be clinical, cold, or judgemental. A little like what we see on TV and you’ll sit opposite someone who’s analysing you, looking for faults, and telling you how to “be or do better.”

That's not what therapy is about and it's certainly not the way I work.

You don’t need fixing because you’re not broken (so stop telling yourself you are). You've been through things, experienced pain, learnt ways of coping, and now you’re at a crossroads.

Some of those coping strategies might still help you. But some could be holding you back, keeping you stuck in patterns that don’t serve you anymore.

Therapy is the space where we can identify  those patterns together with compassion, not judgement and dig deeper to decide which ones you want to keep, and which ones you’re ready to let go of. It's a safe space to help you make sense of your story, and support you as you find steadier ground in your own life.

What the first session is like

However you feel when you arrive is completely valid and absolutely fine.

A first session is often about laying foundations. You don’t need to prepare a script or have it all worked out. Some people come in with a clear idea of what they want to talk about, others are confused as to why the same patterns are playing out in their life and some just know that something feels heavy and needs attention.

We’ll talk a little about what’s bringing you here, what you’d like to get out of therapy, and how we might work together. You can ask me anything about the process, or even share your fears about starting. That conversation is part of the work too.

You don’t have to spill everything in one go. Therapy is not about rushing or reliving every painful memory straight away, we peel back the layers one at a time at a pace that feels safe for you.

The kinds of therapy I use

There are many different styles of therapy, and no single one works for everyone. We’re all unique, which means what helps one person might not quite land for another.

That’s why I don’t stick to just one method. I blend approaches depending on what you need and what feels most helpful in the moment.

Sometimes I’ll use Cognitive Analytic Therapy (CAT), which helps us notice the repeating loops we get stuck in with ourselves and others. Once we can see those patterns, we can begin to loosen their grip.

Other times, Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT) is more helpful, especially if you live with a harsh inner critic. CFT builds a gentler, more supportive inner voice, one that makes space for kindness instead of shame.

For trauma, I may suggest EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing). This is a structured way of helping the brain process difficult experiences so that the past feels less overwhelming in the present.

And from my years in NHS services, I also bring a background in pain management. This helps me support people living with chronic pain or health conditions, and understand the emotional as well as the physical toll.

The “method” matters less than how it feels for you in the room. The work is always collaborative.

It’s okay if you feel stuck, scared, or unsure

I’ve worked with people who’ve been carrying trauma for decades, convinced that nothing could shift. People who look “together” on the outside but feel like they’re falling apart inside and I’ve worked with people who arrive in tears, feeling completely overwhelmed.

I know from my own life and personal traumas just how heavy it can feel to sit in the middle of pain.

So if you’re nervous, hesitant, or unsure whether therapy is “for you,” that’s okay. You don’t have to arrive confident. You just have to arrive as you are.

Why it matters to me

Running my practice isn’t just about a job for me, it’s deeply personal.

As a single mum of three, I’ve built my practice around family life, resilience, and the belief that people can change and heal even after painful experiences. My own traumas have shaped how I sit with others. I know what it’s like to feel alone in it, and I know how powerful it is to feel accompanied instead.

For me, therapy has always been about three things:

Connection - a space that belongs just to you, without judgement.

Curiosity - gently exploring the patterns and feelings that shape your life.

Growth - not instant transformation, but the slow, human shifts that help you breathe a little easier in your own skin.

That’s what I want therapy with me to feel like. A life side-kick when you need one.

If you’re thinking about starting therapy and your stomach flips at the idea… take that as a sign of courage, not weakness.

You don’t need the perfect words, you just need the first step. Therapy will walk alongside you at your pace and in your way

Thinking about taking that first step or still have questions? You can always book a call, no pressure just a gentle conversation to see what feels right for you.